You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
