I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize