Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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