I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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