i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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