Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
