Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
