wakey wakey hands off snakey
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
