I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
