He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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