Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize