Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
