sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
