i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
smell my finger.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
