We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
