I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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