it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
