I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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