Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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