When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
