please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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