is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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