she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
