people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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