escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
