I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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