Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
40s are totally the cure
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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