I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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