like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
