I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize