just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
