i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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