My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
