My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
