I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
wow bdsm is so cute
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
