Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
