Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
