your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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