I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
