my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
