i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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