marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
