just come out here and I will go home with you...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
