Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
