my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
