Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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