Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
