Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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