I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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