Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
