What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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