That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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