Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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