Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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