I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
