You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
