Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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