Someone shit on the floor
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
